In a previous blog post, we discussed tips for writing supplementary applications for Canadian universities. Let’s put what we learned into practice by breaking down an example of a supplementary application to York University’s Bachelor of Business Administration (BBA) program at the Schulich School of Business.
There are two components to the supplementary application: a Leadership Profile and a series of questions that require timed video and written responses. This blog post will focus solely on the Leadership Profile, although you may find these tips to be helpful for other application essays as well. For the Leadership Profile, you can list up to five activities, and you must provide a reference who can vouch for your participation. Activities can include student clubs, sports teams, conferences, competitions, volunteer work, paid employment or entrepreneurial ventures. With a 1000-character limit — roughly 150 to 200 words — for each activity listed, you must explain what you did and what you learned.
Writing Tips
You may find it helpful to use the STAR interview method to structure your answer. With such a tight character limit, you must be strategic in what you wish to convey to the admissions officer. In the STAR method, the “S” stands for “situation,” or the context the admissions officer needs to understand your experience. “T” is the task — your role and responsibilities in the situation and the barriers you faced in completing the task. “A” stands for action. Highlight what you did to overcome your challenges. Finally, “R” is the result, or the qualitative and quantitative outcome of your actions. For a more detailed breakdown of the STAR method, see my previous blog post here.
Being concise with your response means cutting details that don’t support your narrative and being economical with your word choices. Avoid using five words to describe an action if you can do it with one. For example, if you’re using an adverb to modify a verb, make sure the adverb changes the meaning of the verb. Saying that you ran quickly doesn’t tell me anything new — if you’re running, I’m assuming that you’re moving fast. Telling me that you ran desperately adds an extra detail to the sentence that characterizes the scene. If you wanted to convey that you ran fast, you could say that you sprinted. Although going from two words to one word may seem like a minuscule difference, those extra words add up over a long piece of writing. You will find that you have more room to expand on your ideas when you write concisely.
When writing your application, start early and give yourself plenty of time to edit your Leadership Profile. You may find yourself having to rewrite sections or experiment with different ways of conveying an idea. It’s normal to find yourself spending more time than you thought you would writing a short text — being brief can be a challenge! Don’t be afraid to write a longer response and shorten it once you’ve identified the core of what you want to say.
Choose to write about activities that you enjoy. While it may be tempting to tailor your application by picking activities you think would impress an admissions officer, it is better to submit a Leadership Profile that conveys your genuine enthusiasm and interest in the activities you like. As long as you highlight qualities that prove why you would make a good business student (e.g. curiosity, leadership, a growth mindset), how you choose to write about your activities will matter more than what activities you decide to write about.
Sample of Leadership Profile
I chose to write about my role as president of my school’s creative writing club as one of the activities. My response was 155 words, or 980 characters.
I joined the Creative Writing Club as a shy ninth-grader. As I slowly embraced the writing community, I became more comfortable with sharing my work and leading activities. When I became club president in Grade 10, I wanted to create an environment where everyone was comfortable with sharing their work. Every week, I’d host writing workshops, ensuring that some activities required partnering with a club member. This way, people became familiar and comfortable with one another.
Pre-COVID, I directed the logistics and marketing of the club’s first mystery room event, delegating tasks to ensure deadlines were being met and listening to feedback from club members. This resulted in a successful event attracting 40 attendees.
When lockdowns were announced, we transitioned the club online, and I created a Discord server for our members to stay connected in. This year, we recruited and maintained over 30 enthusiastic students in the club, the highest number in club history.
Analyzing the Sample Using the STAR Method
Situation: I talk about being a shy freshman to serve as a baseline — that way, when I describe how I have grown into a capable and confident leader, the reader knows how much of a change it was.
Task: I present the challenges I faced. How do I create a safe and welcoming environment for other students? How do I plan for an event? How do I keep up with the challenges COVID-19 presents?
Action: I highlight what I did to solve the challenges listed. In this case, I facilitated group activities, delegated tasks and kept track of deadlines for the event, and created a Discord server.
Result: I state what my actions have achieved, whether it’s higher club member engagement or maintaining a community in a virtual environment. Whenever possible, I try to quantify my results. For example, I mentioned the number of event attendees and the number of club members for the most recent year.
You don’t have to use the STAR method. As long as your Leadership Profile follows a clear structure that allows admissions officers to easily understand what you have achieved, you can be creative with how you convey your message.
Rewriting the Sample
If I had to go back in time and resubmit my Leadership Profile, I would edit this piece to emphasize what I learned from my experience. I recognize that I was perhaps a little too eager to highlight all my achievements and forgot to make room for reflection. As much as it’s important to showcase your accomplishments, showing that you are capable of growth and self-reflection is just as important to admissions officers.
Here is how I would rewrite the sample:
I felt uncomfortable speaking up when I joined the Creative Writing Club, as I believed I had nothing worth contributing. However, when the executive team graduated, and the club risked disbandment without leadership, I pushed past my discomfort and became club president to preserve the community I had come to treasure.
While leading weekly meetings, I realized I could shape the club into a fun and welcoming space for students. I’d host workshops with opportunities for bonding among members. During the lockdown, I maintained the writing community via Discord meetings. This year, my recruitment efforts have yielded 30 members, the highest number in the club’s history.
To engage with the wider student community, I proposed a school-wide murder mystery event. I oversaw the logistics and marketing and ensured deadlines were being met, resulting in a successful event with 40 attendees.
Through my experience, I have grown into a leader dedicated to creating a safe space for creativity and fun.
This iteration is 159 words—exactly 1000 characters. By removing unnecessary details (e.g., when I joined the club), I had more space to elaborate on my personal growth. I determined which pieces of context were more important to the narrative (e.g., what year I became club president versus why I became president). By documenting my journey less linearly, I was able to group my experiences by action (i.e., building community, planning an event) and make it clear why and how these activities occurred. I had enough room for a final statement, where I conveyed what lasting impression I wanted to have on an admissions officer.
Final Thoughts
As you can see from the rewrite above, it’s vital to give yourself enough time to review and edit your application. The process of writing and strengthening an application takes time and cannot be rushed. You also need time to reflect on the ways you have grown through your activities. Make note of how you felt when you first started the activity and how you feel about it now.
When you finally submit your application, congratulate yourself. Not only is completing your submission something worth celebrating, but by reflecting on your activities and experiences, you may realize that all you have accomplished is worth celebrating as well.
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About the Author
Vivian Zhi is an undergraduate student at the University of Toronto majoring in English and Book & Media Studies. Beyond academic pursuits, her journey has been shaped by hands-on editorial experience. As a former intern at Renaissance Press and Canadian Mennonite University Press, she honed her skills in acquisition editing, crafting promotional copy, and building audience connections. Vivian’s commitment is further evident in her volunteer work, such as serving as a Community Ambassador at Write the World, where she guided young voices to craft authentic personal essays. This passion fueled her role as Publishing Director at INKspire, where she spearheaded the Writer Fellowship Program, nurturing 20 writers and streamlining operations. Vivian looks forward to continuing to help young writers create a personal essay that authentically captures their story and spirit.
