Revising your college essay can feel overwhelming—but it doesn’t have to be. In our latest YouTube video, our team of expert advisors walks through a real student college essay example featured in our latest Write the World Review issue and shares practical ways to strengthen your writing before you hit submit. The essay reviewed comes from Victor Heleodoro, found on pages 18–19 of the publication.
Here are the Top 5 Takeaways from our live review that will help your college essay stand out in any admissions pile.
1. Lead with a Scene
Start your essay with a moment that pulls the reader in—a conversation, a flash of action, or a memory that captures what matters most to you. Whether it’s the buzz of a soccer match or a quiet moment of realization, show us the scene before you tell us the meaning.
Why it works: Admissions readers are drawn to vivid openings that feel alive, not summaries of what’s to come.
2. Pick One Central Thread
Many students try to cover too much ground—family, culture, sports, lessons, and growth—all in 650 words. The strongest essays focus on one central idea or value (like perseverance, gratitude, or creativity) and weave every paragraph back to that core theme.
Ask yourself: If a reader had to describe me in three words after reading this, what would they be? Build your essay around that answer.
3. Show, Don’t Tell
Instead of stating, “Soccer taught me hard work,” bring us into a moment that proves it. Describe the field, the feeling of the ball at your feet, or the emotion after a missed shot. Specificity makes your story memorable.
Pro tip: Pair every reflection with an example. Reflection shows maturity; examples show authenticity.
4. Cut the Repeats, Keep the Gold
Repetition can blur your message. Trim phrases or paragraphs that restate the same point and use that space to add a new layer—a detail, a moment of growth, or a piece of dialogue.
Bonus tip: Watch out for filler words like profound, immense, or instrumental. Simple, clear language often feels the most genuine.
5. Land It Forward
End your essay by looking ahead. How will the lessons you’ve learned shape your next chapter—in college, community, or career? A forward-looking close leaves the reader with a lasting impression of who you’re becoming.
Final Thought
A standout college essay doesn’t need fancy words—it needs your voice, clear structure, and emotional honesty. Watch our full College Essay Review Video to see these tips in action, and discover how a few small changes can transform your draft into something unforgettable.
With Write the World’s College Essay Review, you’ll have a college essay editor on your side – anytime, anywhere. Submit drafts to our team of Advisors for review, and receive fully personalized, multi-page reports within 48 hours.
